Are you under pressure? Are some in your team using pressure? Pressure may hurt and threaten slow balanced decition making, taking care of all involved. Here is toxic communication within climate debate number 7 of 8. It may hurt your work for sustainable development goals. Especially it hurts the United Nation’s sustainable develompemnt goal 16: Peace, justice and strong institutions. For strong institutions have to use deep listening dialogue with compassionate and empatic communications to obtain trust.
VII: Pressure, stalking, forcing, narrow frames, coup over time
Pressure treathens the security of participants. The pressure people may create narrow limits, action rooms and rules for their victims. That is in stead of being open and flexible to the needs of participants. It is basic strategy to build trust step by step from survival needs to security to inclusion to respect. Inclusion means all are seen, heard and have joy together. When you have gone these four steps, you may be given trust, obtain trust from people. Here are some example situations:
30.Destructive conditioning, disciplining – seeking control over you
They may claim too much time, space and attention in a meeting. They grasp too much power of definition and overrun their victims. They sabotage your goals, ruining your celebrations, vacations and holidays. They isolate you from your friends and family. They may even isolate you from your self. They may be envious or jealous about what you manage, experience and obtain. They want influence, control and power over you. Like Pavlov’s dogs you are «trained», conditioned to become afraid of doing what you like and want. They want you to walk on eggshells, to satisfy their feeling of social status, power and control over you. They wish to divert attention back to themselves and how you shall please them. If there is anything outside of them that may threaten their control over your life, they seek to destroy it. They need to be the center of attention at all times. They may make you financially or technologicly dependant on them. They try to put you down on the social status hierarchy and ladder.
Solution: Leave them and join real friends.
31.Boundary testing and hoovering – suck you back to abusive power relationship
They test your boundaries to see which they may trespass. The more violations they are able to commit without concequences, the more they will escalate. They have sweet promises that are empty words. This boundary testing serves as a punishment for you standing up against abuse.
They press your emotional reset button to get you out of balance, so you go back to old negative emotions.
Solution: Reinforce your bondaries. Manipulative people don’t respond to empathy or compassion. They respond to consequences. They respond to your practice that they experience.
32.Urgent, should-ing
They lay pressure on you: «Now or never!» They tell you what you should do just now! You are not allowed a time out to think and reflect about what they recommend you to do.
Solution: Ask for pause, time out, time to think about what they claim you to do. Take small steps. Go slow. Avoid to be abused.
Do you want to experience a test session on how you may go beyond toxic communication in climate debate,
contact helge.christie@gmail.com
Read more in my book: Forbi hersketknikker og fryktkultur
https://www.helgechristie.com/butikk/helge-christies-16-bok-forbi-hersketeknikker